Childhood Memories

- My jaw making contact with my brothers knee and my lower two front teeth chipping

- Smoking straws of hay pretending they were cigarettes

- Collecting cat eyes (pieces of shot-out glass) in the BLM

- Making sage brush forts

- Playing house on the farm equipment

- Making up songs while hoeing beets

- Discovering alternative music.....before I thought country was the only genre that existed

- Singing a Shania Twain duet with my sister

- Doing Paula Abduls dance video in the living room

- Watching my brother skin a rattle snake

- Getting blisters from the handlebars of my bike

- Feeding my eel, Spike

- Picking out a cute piglet for 4-H

- Throwing dirt clods at each other to pass time while hauling rock

- Learning how to saddle and brush a horse

- Hit the deck

- Catching lizards and snails

- Playing in the sand pile my mom made us

- Smiley face stickers

- The smell of dirt during harvest

- What lava rock looks like under a microscope

- Jack rabbits and grasshoppers

- Clothes line

- Pepsi...the drink and my favorite dog

- The excitement of power outages and snow days

- Picking an excessive amount of flowers, drying them and having the hardest time throwing them away

- The one time I can remember getting my dads boot in the butt....it knocked me down flat on my face but I deserved it

- Homemade mac and cheese

- Canning food

- Gathering caterpillars and milk weed

- Monarch butterflies

- My dads rough hands

- Murder She Wrote

- Burning myself many times with the curling iron, once on my upper lip...it looked like a dirty stache

- The disappointment in myself after every school photo

- Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego and The Oregon Trail

- Getting lice from school

- Watching my cat give birth....shocking but kind of cool

- Winning two group lip sync competitions

- Doing 10 back hand springs down the front lawn

- The smell of sage brush after it rains

- The taste of well water

- Running in circles on the tramp while being roped by my brother

- Rope burns

- Clear nights and star gazing

- Two-Door Silver Volkswagon Pick-up truck that can jump a 6 foot canal

- Grated dirt roads

- Zinc nose

- My brother cheering me on my first time skiing down a little hill by our house

- Catching tad poles in the pond

I'm thinking that maybe I should be living in a trailer park in North Dakota

There is always a reason

There has got to be a reason I am the way I am. I have decided to have a "self discovery" for myself and figure it out.

Self Discovery #1: My Morbid Mind

For some reason I always have morbid thoughts in my head....I will give you some examples:

Example 1: Sometimes when I am with someone and they say,"See you later". I think,"Not if I get hit by a car and die".

Example 2: For a while now I have had this scenario played out in my head where I come upon a car accident and everyone is dead except one person who is injured and I have to lay my body across them to stop the bleeding. I save their life every time :)

Example 3: I get stressed out when my room is messy because if I were to die my family would have to deal with it.


I don't remember a lot of my childhood but some memories have recently surfaced that could explain my morbid mind.

Memory 1: I used to sing this song over and over, if you know this little jingle forgive me I might have some of the words wrong.... I have a tendency to do that.

Suffocation, inner retardation, suffocation...a game we used to play
First you get a bowling ball, then you roll it down the hall. Hit your dad then he's mad
Weeeeeeee
Suffocation, inner retardation, suffocation...a game we used to play
Next you take a plastic bag then you stick on your head..go to bed, then your dead
Weeeeeeee
Now you take a rubber hose and you stick up your nose..turn it on then your gone
Weeeeeeee

Memory 2: I was an annual participant in the 4-H program, I showed a pig every year. The first couple of years it was hard for me to sell my pig because I knew what was going to happen....but eventually I got used to it. I started to give my pig names like Holly Ham Hock and Bacon. You would think that the experience of picking out a cute little piglet, giving it a name, watching it grow, train it for 15 min. of fame, auction it off, and sending it off to be slaughtered would be traumatic to a little girl. Nope, not for me...instead it turned into a sick craving for ham.

Putty

Today I found out that one of my friends from growing up in Idaho, died in a plane crash. I'm 26, my ten year reunion is in two years. I guess that I am naive because I honestly didn't think that I would start losing classmates until my thirty or forty year reunions (reality started today). He was an awesome guy, one that I would have looked forward to seeing.

Death is inevitable but sometimes I wish that we were made of putty. I know it is a childish thought....but how I wish every time we got bumped or scraped or even ran over that we could knead ourselves back in shape......You could play your hardest.

Then when you reach your expiration date you'd dry up and become dust in the wind; leaving the world with one last kiss and goodbye and no regrets because you knew this day was coming.